


Thinking

by Kiiyah



Series: Song Fics for the Tender Hearted [1]
Category: Block B
Genre: Based on a song, Gen, Overthinking, So i just wrote because I felt like it, Song fic, Sorry Not Sorry, Writer's Block, these are based off a few songs from his thinking album, they really touched me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22081528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiyah/pseuds/Kiiyah
Summary: Jiho's feeling like a daredevil. A little reckless, but a little scared at the same time.
Series: Song Fics for the Tender Hearted [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589485
Kudos: 1





	1. Daredevil

**Author's Note:**

> Just 2 short pieces inspired by Zico's "Thinking" album. I really loved these two songs(title of chapter), so I decided to write about feelings that the songs emanated. Except from Zico's point of view.

He was flying. Not in the literal sense, of course.

The song he'd written had just hit number one on alot of charts, though he wasn't sure what.

He was delighted that his work had achieved such a positive standing, and that he might actually find, and build a place for himself in this world, but at what cost?

Jiho knew his skills. Knew that he wasn't perfect, and that he might not amount to much in the eyes other rappers.

In this success he had, he was tempted to see how far he could go with it--just how high in the sky would it propel him forward? Would he reach the atmosphere, prepared to explore distant planets? Or would he suffocate among the stars and explode in a flash of rich, luminous light?

Taking risks wasn't a strong trait of his, even though the entirety of his career pretty much launched off of one.

At this time, he had all to lose, yet all to give.

In his raw, the temptation was difficult to bear, to overcome. Would his manager be able to even hold him back if he went too far? Would his label survive under repeated duress? He didn't know. At this point it'd be impossible to tell.

Perhaps risking it all is the only way to know for sure.


	2. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being human has its challenges.

He wrote the song, thinking that some kind of reform would happen, a sort of cathartic release of emotions. Yet, even after it's release, there was still so much buildup, so much he didn't know how to deal with. 

Yes, Jiho knew this part of himself well. That being alone and reflecting over his life was more of a chore than it had to be.

So he didn't deal with it, even though he knew he should've. Ignoring anything for the most part was a terrible way to live, and wouldn't solve anything in theory. 

That was his life though. Every single day was something along those lines. The emptiness, the longing to have something to connect to, a place to belong.

Was that what he was looking for? Some place where he wouldn't have to put up any masks, or deny that what he felt was pain, nothing but that on a daily basis.

The desk in front of him was littered with bits of paper, scraps of lyrics that had held a meaning, up until he tore them with his own two hands.

They simply weren't enough.

He knew he was overthinking this, that while his mind was burning into ash and his bum numbing because he was sitting in the same position for too long--that his life was fluttering away from him in that exact moment.

What was he wasting his time on? Empty feelings and overused phrases? Was he trying to be something he knew he wasn't?

Writing one line was hard. He wanted to be genuine, but didn't know how real he wanted to be. Did he really want to tell the world that he felt like an empty husk and that he wishes he could turn back time?

To the days when he was young and curious, not old and exhuasted? It was alot harder than he made it seem, especially when he actually managed to finish it.

There's going to be people who hate it, and others who absolutely love it. That's just how the world works. But that part of him that was always serving others, always doing what he thought be best for others and not himself--that was always there.

Maybe he's burnt out from caring too much. From caring too much about others, and not enough about himself.

He was afraid to look; afraid that digging might reveal things about himself that he couldn't control or change.

It was much easier to cater to the need of others when you don't know yourself. When you don't want to know yourself.

Over thinking was a commonality inside his mind--it was like things couldn't ever be simple. 

Things couldn't just work out the way he wanted to.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed it! Please tell me how well I did, or what you liked. I quite enjoy reading the comments:)


End file.
